It was an AMAZING night at the Studio; and while I hardly slept last night, it was entirely worth it to me. Having a beautiful environment in which to work with the inspiration from my heart — where the Blessed Mother and her precious Child fill me with inspiration and leave me feeling as though my art matters at the end of the day.
My first painting involved gathering up and adding faces to the “dry enough” small works that I painted last week. They were fun, all oil, painted on canvas board. My collection of small Madonna Paintings is growing (smile).
Warmed up on the faces, I was ready and excited to try a new cold press 300 pound paper by Arches made for oil painting — and it was wonderful to sit at my desk to paint, rather than sit at the easel. I painted “Vermillion Aura in the Garden” (my favorite), as well as a “Grey Mood” (an odd mother/child).
I’ll be back at it tonight but will concentrate on more involved watercolor than the quick sketches I’ve done in that medium.
“Gray Day” by Jane Dever, Oil on Arches 300# oil paper, $200
I’ll close with my favorite for today: “Vermillion Aura in the Garden”
Spending time at the Studio was a hiatus from a steady stream of racing thoughts and too many lost weeks at home. Using oils and three small canvases, I wet my feet again and felt the release that painting is for me. Unemployment and worry has set me back in many ways, combined with an odd feeling of dread of late, so getting back to my life work is important.
Church helps me a lot, too, and today’s readings were intensely appropriate for what I’ve been fearing lately — exactly tailored to me!
God is always part of my innermost dialogue, so reading about Gods limitless love for me and listening to audio scripture while painting helped a lot. Today’s readings were about NOT worrying and trusting in God’s care. I do know how much I love my children — and I trust that I’m loved that way, too. Making God first allows everything else to fall into place.
I’ve decided to broaden my horizons to beyond the immediate, beyond the immediate company, beyond the immediate landscape, and beyond the imagined limitations that I’ve allowed to hold me back. Time to break free from molds that keep me in my self-imposed restraints. It’s hard to say why I’ve fallen into this rut; Lord knows that I’ve been given limitless possibilities. It occurs to me that it is time to bounce back.
I’m heading to see my children in my old town, Chapel Hill, NC, next week. Long overdue, I long to hold my granddaughter, to see my daughter and son and to visit with my granddaughter’s mama. I love Chapel Hill for its endless supply of dear old friends, cultural diversity, its music and intelligent open mindedness. I’m due for an infusion of its warmth and coolness! The fact that Ill hit the road on Ash Wednesday speaks to my need for a cleansing road trip — like returning to ashes where I once started my trip back here. Full circles are good. I may want to stay when I get there and I may want to come home; not sure. I’ve said that ill move to wherever I get the best job fastest but we’ll see. God will give me the gut feeling to know, I hope.
If I leave RI, I’ll worry for my mother and will miss my siblings. If I stay, I’ll worry more about the lengthening gaps in seeing my children. The visits north or south will have to be more frequent, regardless of what happens. The thought of not really knowing my granddaughter and being more available to my children hurts. Life is difficult when miles separate us from our loves. I’ve got friends in both places. The movie will help decide things, too, as a funded 365 Nights of painting will keep me at this studio for another year. I can paint in both places, though, so visits won’t interfere with the project. It’s all about being the Mother and being the Child — life.
Back to the studio tomorrow. Hope you enjoy my trio of impasto Madonnas…
I painted this today, after 21 days of being away from the studio. My mother fell sick with a BAD stomach virus, later complicated by an infection, then hospitalization. I caught it a few days after the doctors had admitted her. The recovery time was lengthy, so we are well again but still tired, believe it or not. I hope there isn’t a Phase II to the ordeal — but trying to be positive!
I had laid the foundation for this painting on the 6th of February (or thereabouts) with a simple outlined mama and child in green, yellow and white — wearing a fun outfit, well suited for SUMMER! The timing of this painting is perfect, since my mind has wandered South a lot this month — to warmth, my children and the thought of a job there if one arose. Warm tootsies, warm hands, warm hearts!
The cold season is wearing thin on Rhode Islanders, right about now, with temperatures in the teens all week and leaving me ready for SUN and SUMMER. This Madonna is wearing my favorite summer skirt — one that I actually have in my closet! Crisp cotton, white and Kelly green eyelet, gathered at the waist, a tad to short to be considered appropriate for my age group, it screams FUN (even though she looks as tired as I have been feeling). It makes perfect sense for today and the baby is just a love.
Speaking of total loves, I am praying that I’ll see my daughter, my son, my grandbaby and her mama next week. I hope to drive down to NC to love ALL of them with REAL hugs, not the across-the-miles hugs! Last week, my son was hospitalized out of state for inhaling the smoke of burning pressure-treated lumber (he didn’t burn it; someone else did) and he should be back by next week! PRAYER is needed for his health and a new job for him, if you are so inclined to pray. Addy has a lot of change in the air, too, including new bangs this week — like this Madonna’s! My daughter is a beautiful present-day Madonna with great adventures ahead and dreams of living in foreign lands… often the old-soul Child over the years, when I was most fickle. I want to touch base there to see them in LIVING COLOR… cannot wait… I’m tentatively thinking that when the snow stops here on Tuesday or Wednesday, I’ll hit the road.
[E. T. Phone Home…]
It isn’t easy for the 20-30ish year olds today. They have a lot of pressure in an uncertain world! It gets harder and harder to find work and it isn’t easy to make a living; seems harder than the old days, anyway. I support their dreams and try not to interfere BUT I worry more than they know — trusting in GOD but still worrying!
To find work for myself, I’ve resorted to creative marketing. I actually created a website, www.hirejaneanndever.wordpress.com with my first post called “See Jane Work… With your help”. On it, I included a link to my plain old resume (PDF) and video resume (below/click on photo):
I figure that hitting them with visuals might help — and it will SHOW them that I actually know how to design attractive marketing sites and presentations!
MORE on ESCAPING reality: and speaking of taking to the road, I saw a VW Van today and wished for one… and I watched an RV show for a bit tonight and I honestly may like to retire in one of those… I’d park it at South Shore Beach by summer and in NC in Spring and Fall and somewhere else in winter. Sounds great to me, anyway… With grandbabies sleeping over at Nana’s RV. I’d move it four times per year, painting all the while (of course)!
I’ve thought of designing and building a moveable solar cabin on a flatbed (a friend of mine in NC lived in one and it was really cool and “rough”!) or having an RV at some point. I have (thankfully) scaled life down to very little “stuff” — my best way to exist, I think — so I’m “portable”. Of course, God only knows the future; and beyond my drive to NC soon, I have no idea what it holds for me.