“Avoiding the Red Dragon” and other sketches I did today… reflect a yearning and discomfort that seemed real last night. Emotion is not reality — not easy to remember.
Fear is foolish, knowing that I am loved, and a sign that I am off track, trust-wise. Wisdom dictates that if my house welcomes God, he will bring peace to it. Fear is a terrible thing and it skews my thinking.
A prank phone call riled me before bed last night. I cried a lot and then prayed for safety and fell asleep. The man who called was not kind, and it triggered a PTSD sort of reaction in me – paranoia even. I’ve had time to reflect, even after another tearful breakdown tonight, wondering how to move past the fear. He was the Red Dragon, for all intensive purposes. I can run into the woods to the safe place God has in store for me; it just takes me a while to get it!
In the end, it is as simple as this: mankind can kill my body but not my soul. I actually hid behind the snow today and stayed home. I will leave the house tomorrow.
Making God first is my goal. I know that money, a husband and a home of my own can be a curse if they aren’t of God. I pray for them, of course, and being nearer to my children — at least being able to visit them on a regular basis.
I will write again for the next painting… photos of my kiddos will be part of that post.
I have a lot of remembering (remembering God) to do. Human concerns must take a back burner, for greater rewards.