What a great day it was, except that I didn’t get to mass at my parish today. The day ended with five water colors,
Still physically exhausted, still not recovered from the all nighter (painting) on Friday/Saturday. I lounged until eleven, shopped for groceries, had a cup of great coffee at Angelina’s, packed a paint-at-home kit at the Studio so I could watch the Patriots play Denver, prepared our dinner in advance, then settled onto the couch to try my hand at water colors while watching my team get pummeled on the field. Thank God I painted, because I’d otherwise be very upset.
I was going to paint in oils and paint myself into one, as I posed and took “selfies” this morning after seeing myself with my towel — I had the Madonna veil drape going on with my waffle patterned oversized bath towel positioned perfectly over my wet hair. Of course I took photos to go by, if and when I want to paint realistic Madonnas… Or for a mixed media project (Painting over my photos… Or painting and collage). Relating to the holy Mother is what this is about, in a sort of “I honor the god in you and you honor the god in me” way; so one will be a self-portrait soon.
I was irritated this week, after getting harassed for being Roman Catholic by a family member who suggested that it was contrary to pro women attitudes to practice a faith that used Mary as a the poster child for its abuse and disregard for women in a patriarchal hierarchy. While I understand where all that may come from, AND after personally leaving the church for a variety of reasons myself (for years), including the bad judgement of then hierarchy during the Mussolini era and the “conversion” and mistreatment of the Jews (my family). It isn’t that I have been blind — Added to all of that, I’ve also blamed the Church for guilt complexes of mine and others’ (family genetics is responsible on this point, though). I loved it on a purely personal level at age 11 on, my first exposure to it (being raised at the First Congregational Church in Bristol. I was treated so well by the nuns at St. Philomena School, my first exposure (other than my grandmother) . I also loved Mary enough from the get go, that I got ejected from the protestant church my folks attended, after asking the pastor over and over (in front of the others) if he/his church had a problem with women for constantly breezing over Mary.
Later, much later, after college, I found out that my father’s side was Jewish — my grandmother Nunes was a Schumann at birth — ridiculous that nobody knew. Dramatic, she handed the Star of David to my aunt from her deathbed, apparently, after holding it clenched in her hand. I thought at that time, “No wonder I’d been invited to Hillel so many times; it makes sense now. Mary and Jesus were Jews. I love Jews. And Catholics. And Hindus. And All people. I love God. And I think there’s only one.
I am not and have never been the ideal “church lady” because of my wild streak and my rebellious side; but if im a good church member, the church will be stronger! I love the confession — just like the fifth step in detox programs — doing life with a clean slate makes life new again. RE-creation, embracing change, forgiving and allowing people to change is part of life. So, its the same with a church, made up of people — letting go of past to move forward. I do, for whatever reason, feel comfortable in the Catholic mass, as it is what I converted to at 20, after a nine-year love affair with the church. I fell away later on, after my divorce; and now, after a period of reflection and an annulment my ex ordered, I started going again.
I also developed a serious affinity with Mary when I started painting Madonnas for no apparent reason… I honestly thought about going to Temple and may at some point, to explore that side of who I am, as I feel a draw to Judaism, too. Is that messed up? No, I don’t think so. I would make a great Jew, just as I think I make a great (eyes wide open’ and trying to be an exception to the rule). Is my current church bad? Not bad. Has it been? YES, the sex scandals involving children, political corruption, etc. — yes, that sucks! But if I am a member and forgive The art, so we can work toward a healthier future in the church, so be it. The new pope seems better. I have an aunt who is a deacon at her Protestant Church AND is a trustee at the synagogue, so maybe that’s where I’m headed, too. It will be all good, if that happens.
These are the paintings today, in order… I tried watercolor and LOVED it! I seemed to be in a “flow”, although the images are too pale and the body parts are not scaled proportionately today… YOUNG moms and big-headed babies…
Please hit the follow button below, as I have only ten followers and many likes on FB. I share on Facebook — and if you share each post with your friends, that would help, too. I need as many followers as possible, in order to get the funding site to take on my project. Finishing the movie for that tomorrow (hopefully). It takes a long time to plan a project like this. Goodnight.