Day 5 – “Light of Mine” (1.5.14)

Today was a great day in so many ways; I don’t know where to begin.  The day ended with this painting, “Light of Mine”, acrylic on Masonite board.

"Light of Mine" by Jane Dever
“Light of Mine” by Jane Dever

I was up excruciatingly early after a late night — but needed to wash the dog and bleach the kitchen ( I do love bleach), helped Mom with the crossword (or tried to); made it to St. Patrick’s Church in Providence  by 9:45, enjoyed Father Ruggieiri’s message about being the “light”; sang “this Little Light of Mine” at the top of my lungs ’til I got to Barrington, where I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen since high school; sped to Portsmouth for a first date; and, finally, ended my afternoon at the Studio to paint “Light of Mine”!

I was exchanging a Christmas gift from Mom when I saw my high school friend.  lt was strange but I felt like the 15 year old I was when we first met — inside.  Often lately, I still feel like that girl underneath the 52 year old facade.  Living at “home” brings up lots of issues I should have grown out of long ago; and I get frustrated for living with my mother, even though it is well timed for both of us. (feeling the failure of my unemployment, despite my usefulness; a total child again at times and parent at others).  And strangely, she very much comes across as a youngster limited by her 86 year old body, too.  We never age inside, I think.  I’m delighted, thinking of it, because my children get impatient with my immaturity at times; but experience shows that, eventually, they’ll be the ones in old bodies saying things that are (naturally) immature.  Young at heart is how I feel (today).

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Feeling  young at heart came in handy during the next part of my day — a nice first date lunch at Scampi with a kind man that I met on Catholic Match.  We talked for a long time about the homily I heard (nice to actually enjoy this stuff after so long a time in my life when I had nothing to do with church).  Honestly, I could never be the “traditional” church lady but I do really love attending and hearing the message and want to share it (when appropriate).  Being a light and loving people was the message — perfect to paint.  I can paint my love. And pray. And make people laugh and share real life experience through writing.

I am prone to loneliness, honestly, so I connect on facebook and blogging and painting.  Pathetic maybe, but I doubt I’m alone in that.  I hope my blogs are enjoyable and help you know me better — to find common ground.  I hear other people’s stories and feel less alone, so I hope mine keep you company.

I hope they add  light to your day, too,  as a beacon of love and joy.

Peace,

Jane

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