Mary in Blue

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Mary in Blue, Acrylic on Masonite board, 24″ by 20″ unframed; $350 plus shipping; $410 in gold wood frame

I finally finished a painting this month, after a dry spell. She has been a work in progress since I got to Cary NC to look for work. It is available for purchase as are all of my paintings, displayed on two galleries on this blog’s menu. With the world in such a mess and after the atrocities in the Middle East, I found solace in painting Mary, my most loving mother. Of course, I also call my Mom in RI, another loving force in my life.

I have had a great time in Cary, after traveling to Asheville and then Pittsboro, visiting family and other friends. I’m staying with a dear couple who have, like my friends in Pittsboro, opened their home to me and given me a suite of rooms to live in while I hunt the Raleigh job market. Funny, I never though I’d like Cary but it is a beautiful town, at least the part that I live in now; and it is close to Raleigh which I seems to be very cool. I’ve tried to explore the area a bit each week and like it.

With two interviews behind me his week and a few last week, I feel that a career opportunity is JUST around the corner. Hard work pays off, I guess, as I’ve a daily routine of searching and applying for job posts online, in the papers and those I’ve heard about through networking. It has taken time.

I do miss my family and friends in RI but this was home once and feels better each day. The scenery is beautiful, with a beautiful lake at Regency Parkway nearby and the landscape is so green still in the balmy weather here. I always loved Fall in NC, as the summer weather lasts so much longer than in RI; and I always found it awe inspiring that the leaves hang onto the trees until Christmas time.

I am enjoying a group of hummingbirds zooming around me as I write this! I am comfortably perched high on a second story deck, where I enjoy watching birds, trees and NC blue skies each day.

I still miss the dog but visited this week and saw that she really is at home and has mostly forgotten me. She actually barked at me when I got there and ran to the side of her new owner protectively, as she had clung to me when she was uncertain of newcomers. The new owner doesn’t want more visits, as she fears that it will confuse things for her, the dog and me. Finality isn’t my fondest topic, where the dog is concerned, after tears and worry that I made the wrong decision. I have photos to remember her and memories, though.

I’m off to a MeetUp Group tonight, trepidatious to be sure but going just the same. If I am going to make this move, I have to really make it. Finding new friends will make it happier, as this is thirty minutes from Chapel Hill and I can’t go there every week. I am, at this point of unemployment, conserving gas and funds.

Wish me luck and God Bless All of Us.

Keeping the Faith

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Honestly, life is good today. Nothing has really worked out exactly as I had planned but it’s all good. I left Asheville; I haven’t seen the baby, due to some family circumstances on their end; I stayed in Pittsboro with great old friends, Helen and Seth, but didn’t get anywhere with the job hunt there; so I’ve come to Cary, where I am staying with friends Tanja and Tom. I was open to change along this journey and I know God is with me. This couple has opened their home to me and have joyously made me feel like part of their family.

My dog Zoe was difficult when we stayed with my hosts, barking incessantly in Pittsboro, very hyper, and not the best house guest in Cary either. Not having a home of my own at this juncture, I had to make the difficult decision to find a new home for her. Part of the decision was based on the fact that crating her wouldn’t have worked on long workdays, with her small bladder. She now lives with a lovely retired woman who adores her, understands the peculiarities and nuances of small dog ownership and assures me that Zoe is settled in, part of this new family. Regardless, I spent the morning crying today, still missing her. I still love Zoe, for sure. It was a stupid (not heartless) move, even if it was practical. Ugh.

On a brighter note, the job hunt is finally yielding a steady stream of work opportunities in the Raleigh area; and there is one position, in particular that I’d love to have. We’ll see. It will take some time for me to have a place of my own — but I will go back to get my furniture when I can — and I’ll register my car, etc., as an NC resident as soon as it is official. I’m putting hours in each day, applying for jobs, and employers are all responding favorably at the same time. Multiple offers would be a great dilemma, I think!

Tomorrow is Sunday, church day — thank you, God. I love Sundays.

That’s it for now. Goodnight.

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Looking for work in NC

Hello All:

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It has been a while since I’ve written but I haven’t had time, simply because I’ve been looking for a job nonstop for two months in North Carolina. Traveling from RI to Asheville, Asheville to Pittsboro and now Pittsboro to living with friends while I look for a job in Cary, NC.

The job search is so much different in this Raleigh/RTP area than in the northeast. Jobs are plentiful and seem like better quality jobs with salaries plus commission, most of the time. Thankfully, I’m getting responses and interviews. With two interviews coming up, one this week and one next week, I remain hopeful that the trek cross country will be a fruitful one.

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The main impetus for driving down here, besides the sputtering RI economy, was to be near my children and granddaughter. While I wasn’t able to see my granddaughter and her mom while I was staying at my son’s in Asheville (after several requests to do so), I took my search farther East to Pittsboro where I stayed with friends and phone interviewed for a few jobs.then, however, I moved farther east to Cary and seek work in the RTP/Raleigh area — where I’ve made the most progress here in NC.

I happily see my daughter once or twice weekly, something I was unable to do since I left NC eight years ago to be near my aging parents. She is 25 now, a dynamic young woman with responsibilities and loads of friends — still a smart, beautiful social butterfly. It’s was fun to stay with her for a week while her roommate was away; and watching her unload her car full of groceries on payday was a reminder of what a grown up she has become. I can’t express strongly enough how time flies!

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Back to my work search: The jobs I have searched for are predominately sales, with administrative jobs, a few call center jobs and healthcare related jobs, too. I would love to be an Assisted Living Sales & Marketing Director ( I love working with the elderly) or to live on site as Assistant Property Manager at a luxury apartment complex again — or work in media sales or construction/real estate again. All sorts of sales jobs interest me; and I have worked in many fields, so I have the luxury of finding a wide array to apply to here!

Art-wise, I’ve only painted one painting here and it wasn’t my best; probably because I am in power job search mode, I am not upset by that!

IMG_3352.JPG. I am treating the search like a full time job and putting as many hours into it as I would a career. The world tells me I am doing my part and that “everything will come to you at once — with several jobs from which to choose”! I have been praying for God’s will; and while I worry at times, most of the time I just know that God is preparing me for the right job and that it will come.

I am grateful for my faith and my new parish, where I can celebrate my faith and the sacraments with other believers. The emotional roller coaster of unemployment isn’t a thrill, though; and I don’t wish it on anyone, honestly. Thank goodness for friends and family, too, who build my confidence. I am living with amazing, generous friends in Cary, one of whom worked with me at Southern Village. Their daily inspiration (and example of what goodness is) means so much to me! I am also thankful for Helen and Seth in Pittsboro and my son back in Asheville for the time I stayed with them. My “village” spans the east coast!

A snag: I did have to give my Yorkie dog away. I created a website to do so (http://yorkiezoe.wordpress.com) and sent it to the doggie daycare centers with a compassion end plea for only small dog lovers to respond. I was referred to a woman in Durham, who recently lost her parents, is retired from Doggie Daycare, set out to meet her — and was so disappointed that she was perfect for my dog, meeting all of my criteria and even hugging me as I sobbed.

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She adores Zoe, sends me photos of her and I am allowed to visit whenever I go to Durham; so, as hard as it was to kiss my “baby” goodbye, I know that she is in loving arms. I still feel sick to my stomach when I see her photos or catch myself look behind me for her (out of habit) around the house. I worry more about her missing me than my missing her; but crating her during long work days wouldn’t have worked with roommates (as she barks so much) and she has to go out much more frequently than larger dogs. I feel confident that I made the right decision for her, ultimately, with jobs seeming closer every day. (And her new owner will return her to me if it doesn’t work out.)

That is all I have to say for now, as I have got to get back to work… To get work!

~ Jane

Ps. A flashback:

This cool (link below) unedited time release video, shot by professional filmmaker Halsey Fulton, will give you an idea of how my paintings evolves into layers (and layers and layers) of personality before the final Madonna and Child becomes apparent. This is the link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dv-txDwwmVo. I have to love Halsey Fulton! He never had a chance to edit it, before I closed the studio; but, if anyone needs a quality filmmaker, you should give him a shout!

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The Lord as my Scout

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Sometimes our best experiences are loosely planned but dependent on deep, inner faith! My best outcomes are rarely planned (God’s plans, I bet).

I pulled this painting out of one of my sketch/painting journals this afternoon. I had trouble pinning it down long enough on the driveway to take the photo, with the blustery 80 degree breeze giving it flight several times.

IMG_3157.JPGMy days have been busy but I’m being lured into the garage to paint, the empty canvases calling to me and a wildness in my mood — willing to paint uncharted territory. I’ll be out there tomorrow, if anyone wants to venture by.

As you may know, I’ve closed my studio to prepare for a trip south to NC, where I plan to throw myself into the Asheville job market — and will find a job of my dreams! I pray for God’s help daily. My son wants me to paint on the sidewalk, and I probably will to make some cash, in between interviewing. There are lots of street venues for artists there — and I’m reeeeaaaalllly considering the cheap art idea — a movement in Canada right now — (not new) a good idea, considering the numbers of paintings I amass at times.

I had an opportunity this weekend to work (a little) at the Holy Spirit seminar, where the homeless came for inspiration and self-care provisions for everyday life. I also talked to a Sister of the Faithful Companions of the Visitor. What a beautiful conversation we had, touching on the possibilities of Religious vocation, and the more likely gift of a husband (someday, perhaps, if god is willing to give me an pother try), oh well. Why I even hope for a nice husband, I can’t say, considering my dating record, but nest building isn’t complete without a man in the picture but we’ll see. god’s will, Jane, Gods will; more will be revealed.<!–more–

Spreading the word through visual faith expression is my vocation for now anyway — and where better to do this — the roads and byways, where a chat and a sale will make life more memorable and evangelistic (in a way). body and blood on the page and doing gods work. Sacrifice by brush, one stroke ata time.

Part of making this all out effort to find and make a new successful life nearer my children and granddaughter is that I am getting organized here. That, in itself, is worth making a trip. As of tonight, my essential wardrobe fits in three drawers, on 25 hangars and that all of my shoes/sandals/boots fit into a laundry basket. Pared down from old days when wastefulness was a disgusting problem for me, this portable life of mine is quite spare — but richer for it. The rest of clothing is ready for the needy.

The other aspect that has caught me off guard is the way I’m seeing RI and my friends and family this week. My town is beautiful — breathtaking, waterfront, historic, charming. It glistens in June (all the more than usual, since I am making my goodbyes). I cry thinking about it, then snap out of it, knowing that I will somehow visit for one month every summer.

I’ve been reading the reflections of Mother Theresa and comparing our prayer styles (I’d love to as good). Startlingly similar, hers often began with scripture. I suppose that I do pray with scripture opening the process,especially after the readings at Mass, then later in the week as I either go over them or randomly find passages at random. I’ve never realized it though, as I like to think of the prayer process as my talking to God and then listening in contemplation and oneness – closed eyes — just “being” in his presence. Praying in tongues, the purest communication in the language of the angels is something I practice, only when it feels natural.

Reading I ponder this week is Deuteronomy 1:30 (amazing, in that it seems appropriate for my upcoming trip to NC to stay in the mountains while finding a job. God will lead the way):
30 The Lord your God Who goes before you will Himself fight for you. He did this for you in Egypt in front of your eyes, 31 and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way you have walked until you came to this place.’ 32 But even so, you did not trust the Lord your God, 33 Who goes before you on your way. He finds a place for you to set up your tents. He uses fire to show you the way to go during the night. During the day He uses a cloud to lead you.

It gives me hope. Even when I think I’m not going places, I am, and he carries me. While I thought I was stagnating, I was really laying the groundwork (in the arms of God) spiritually for a bursting out, a thrust forward into uncharted territory in peace to love, trust in, and to carry the word of God with me… NC is my destination for the time being… To find work and to be near Anahata (granddaughter). Addy and Pete are there too, of course, as are a “gazillion” friends.

I feel joyous, ready to face the future — a bright future. Meeting with friends daily, as everyone wants to say goodbye — even though this isn’t a final trip down there. The permanent move will only happen with good solid employment there. When I get a job, I’ll fly back for the UHàul. I do love a lot of people here, so this is not easy in many ways — but I won’t just go to NC when it works out — I’ll GO to NC to grab this new adventure. If I come back, I’ll come back. I’m not going to worry anymore.

Below: this For Ronny piece is finally at rest in the Mercy Cafe at St. Patrick’s Church, my beloved parish where I share my faith with the sweetest people. Love my time there and will miss it… But will find a new parish in NC when/if the time comes,

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Art Night Tomorrow at ALTA LUNA STUDIO (5/29/14)

imageYOU ARE INVITED to ALTA LUNA STUDIO for ART NIGHT this Thursday, May 29th from 6-9pm! 

Located upstairs at the BRISTOL ART MUSEUM

10 Wardwell Street, Bristol, RI 02809

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Stop in to see my 2014 work (with a few oldies, as well) and be sure to put your name into a drawing for a free painting
— to be drawn at 9 pm!

2014 has been productive, art-wise, and with changes galore.

It will be nice to celebrate a new art night season at the BRISTOL ART MUSEUM Studio space and to share my work with you.  There is a show going on at the museum downstairs from the studio, where I have three pieces on display… but BE SURE to come upstairs to the studio!

Love to all and see you tomorrow night!

Jane Dever

Tribute to the Baby 4.24.14

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My daughter , Adelaide Mary Dever, was born 25 years ago to this very minute,  Adelaide “Addy” is smart, beautiful, sassy and extremely creative… And is a very good person.

Without sharing too much of her personal information, let me just say a few words to honor her today.  Living 500 miles apart is difficult, especially with unemployment an added barrier from frequent visits; but as I sit here in bed, I am moved to tears and can at least reminisce.

Her delivery into the world was easy — as was her temperament as a baby. I was twenty seven the year she was born, had had two previous miscarriages, with the ultimate reward — a daughter to add to our nice family of three. An instant perfect girl, Adelaide Mary was named for her grandmother (my mom) after we replaced the name Rachel when we first saw her in the delivery room. As delicate and fine featured as my mother, she was naturally an “Adelaide Mary” — and she was given her middle name for my husband’s mother, Mary Dever, from whom she got her strength I think.

So affectionate and a real cuddle bug — so pretty and just so sweet, she melted hearts and brought a peaceful joy to our home. Addy is my youngest child born seven years after her big brother, Peter, who is and was always a gift, too; but as all mothers know, this new child brought to this world her her very own sacred perfection and unique humanness.

Baby Addy would sleep well at night and be very shy waking in the mornings, so we had to check frequently to find her awake, silent and smiling warmly, when we peeked into the crib. Easy to smile and laugh, she soon became our silly “miss mouse” with “naked nelly” runs around the house after bath time — and LOTS of friends from a very early age. She was (and hopefully forever will be) Daddy’s girl, a blessing as women need their fathers (biological as well as our Lord God; whether they realize it or not).

She loved to wear dresses and had a favorite cow t-shirt and confetti sneakers at three. At four she dealt with a new love of purple, after her love affair with the color pink. She was a ballerina, a fierce bike rider, a lover of birds and dogs and hamsters, and she got her cat Nala as her fifth birthday gift from brother Pete. She had best friends along the way, too numerous to name — a big part of life for Addy, right from the start.

She loved her brother (and he, her) and her cousins were also very much part of our household in those days.  Elena, Jessy and Philip came to the house a lot after school.  She was for years my constant companion until her friends became the focus, even doing lots of volunteer work with mommy during our St.Philomena, Drug Task-force and Safety Committee years.  My best summer (with lots of Addy-time came after I left FGI and scrapped daycare for a glorious summer of us girls going to the library every single day to keep us in books, lounging and reading the afternoons away… swimming at the pool, reading up a storm and sharing time together.

Life got busy, crazy busy mostly, with  struggles (difficult at times) — but the love never falters.  It brings happy pain to my heart — love so strong that it hurts sometimes; hard to explain, really. That’s how I try to think of God’s unconditional love for me — without the human failures and disappointments. My only regrets in this world are the hurts I’ve caused my children, family, and God.

Adelaide Mary always loved to read and still does, loved being a Girl Scout with mother (me) trying to control our troop and selling thousands of cookies.  She was a a good mom to her dolls, loved riding bikes, arts and crafts, her pets, and had the best birthday parties — and the coolest bedrooms for entertaining (orange hammock room was tied with vaulted princess castle room for first place).  Addy envisioned a world “where everything was plaid and nothing matched”, painted dachshunds everywhere (literally :/), had a talent for twirling wildly in play dresses, cuddling with Nana on the couch (two peas in a pod, both silent with their noses in books) — and telling me about her day.

At school, Addy was a force to be reckoned with — shy mostly. She has always loved Audrey Hepburn and Elizabeth Taylor (she could be a mix of the two) and even sang a Hello Dolly show tune in a talent contest in third grade .  At nine, she took tennis lessons, played baseball and soccer before that, and was later quite content when she got her  car and a job at Elmo’s Diner!

Her decision to study art makes sense, as she is gifted with an eye for design. Oh, I forgot to add that she has a knack for accessorizing — from age one when she could spot jewelry on women and gently check each piece without breaking or pulling — and when she writes about what she knows well, the WORLD reads it! She has a knack for marketing and social media!

Overall, Adelaide Mary Dever conducts herself with an honest, creative, intelligent, wild streak — and a sparkle (in her eyes) — and to this day, she is the person that you are glad to have on your side. She is a very special woman. I hope she has a baby to share with this world someday, as it will also be amazing!

Her creativity and independence takes many forms… Art is her passion, music, fashion, tattoos and piercings, and her non-conformist heroism with people and ideas. I am very proud of who she has become. She has so many friends and is good to all of them — as have they always been with/to her — sometimes replacing “mother” when I was distant (bodily and emotionally during my sinful early forties; any issue she takes with me is deserved, lets put it that way). She is a caretaker to her friends, as are they.

Having just graduated from college last May, Adele (as her peers call her) has become serious and ready for a career to begin. She left her current job (today actually – yikes) to get on a better path… Bravely. She designed my logo — for one thing — so wherever she lands, she will be surrounded by blessed people.

Happy birthday darling daughter. May her twenty fifth year be blessed and healthy, full of love, and more frequent Mom visits this year! Here’s to many shared adventures in our future!

My painting of Adelaide Mary at age 3

Change is Good 4.23.14

20140423-145133.jpgFramed and ready to go to BAM tomorrow, accepted into the 50th Anniversary Juried Exhibit, slated to open on Friday, May 2nd.

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What a difference a few weeks can make. God comes first; then, everything else falls into its proper place. I just sent off a newsletter that I formatted for Mike at Explore Bristol (keeping my marketing alive), and framed the last of my three pieces (photos here) that will be part of the Bristol Art Museum’s 50th Anniversary Juried Exhibit that starts this week. I’ll be gallery sitting at the Museum on Saturdays until July; so, if anyone wants to see me, that’s where I’ll be!

I spent the morning today at my future school, signing paperwork and talking about what will probably sort itself out, Grant-wise. I realized probably should have done this years ago — but I never thought it made sense until now! Timing is not ever wrong, in my experience — and change is good if I come to decisions peacefully. I start school on May 15th, have three people interested (keeping fingers crossed) in taking over my studio space (a dream space five months ago but a burden now as I set my mind on studying for the next seven months), the movie debacle is over (never finished fast enough to help financially); and the only option and peaceful solution is to move on gracefully. The financial worry (enough for a lifetime; now has an end in sight), because school is practical study — technical in nature, with jobs in this field plentiful — always! From despair over the past months, then eventually to God and deeper faith, to remembering that without darkness there isn’t bright light, to hope after reflection, i now arrive at action. “Change is Good”. It has to be.

Another change that I’ll make this year: I wont be publicly sharing TMI on social media. Foolishly, I’ve posted too much personal information over the past year and a half on social media, with the lines blurred between private and public — and personal life and business life. No wonder I’ve been annoyed with all aspects of my life; I never kept them separate! With my gallery closing, I also felt like a personal failure (not accurate). Posting all the ups and downs of my emotions at those times has not helped me personally, nor has it helped publicly. Dwelling on negatives was my habit — bad, bad, bad. I was in a coffee shop this morning listening to a person who is stuck in sadness and I found myself (ironically) telling the person that he needed to embrace change and any available help! Accepting help from people who had a better grasp of reality was my deepest dread — that they would know my REAL imperfection; but without dropping the defensive nonsense, I can’t ever be better. Talking with an unbiased professional person also really helped to convince me that I was Going to come through this to a positive end and that I wasn’t crazy. And as usual, it takes a lot less time than I ever think it will to see new possibilities — with help! That was advice I gave today but couldn’t even remotely see, not long ago.

So changes over the past couple years (in photos; fun to look back momentarily): the gallery, the studio and a snapshot from home…

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Alta Luna Gallery was fun while it was open…

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…then that became Alta Luna Studio — a wonderful place to paint while it made sense…

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…And now it will be packed up and moved home!

I’ll keep the name — a good one — for the Webpage only, where I will write and post my artwork. Maybe I’ll write fiction or about art or whatever comes to mind — who knows? No plans are perfect for now. As for my paintings, I may paint more than Madonnas this year — or maybe just Madonnas — who knows? Eureka: Only God knows! Haha! I could get the hang of this.

Life is good. My only disappointment today is that I never got to NC this week for Addy’s birthday… But I hope to make it there before school starts! But life will be okay, no matter what. First thing is first. School is a positive start with little else determined beyond that! My goal is to be self sufficient by next year at this time — working and living on my own… But who Knows? Only God knows. With lots of prayer — Lots of prayer — maybe more will be revealed.
So be it (Amen)

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He is Risen Indeed

Happy Easter to All! This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad.

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It has been an incredible week, with less exercise than last week (my only disappointment, really) but with more progress toward regrouping. I posted an ad to rent out my studio for the time being, so I can go back to school to get a “real” job as soon as possible. Many artists are interested but I pray that one will step up by the first.

I filed for Financial Aid to get a school loan to cover what Pell Grants don’t and I chose a field of study and a quick 7 month Medical Assistant program. It may not be as impressive as my initial college placement but I should have done this (or Nursing) years ago. At 52 and beyond, it will give me opportunities to work steadily in a field that is always hiring. I’ll take the test in January to be nationally certified in phlebotomy and EKG, pre-coding, taking vitals (took them in a previous job) and lab work… FUN (not kidding).

When I realized that I’d passed the safety zone of unemployment without government unemployment benefits and that the movie wouldn’t be done in time for me to hold onto my studio, I felt a failure and was scared. I’m not so much now, except that I want to figure out how to get to Chapel Hill for my daughters birthday in a few days. My classes start on May 15th and I’ll have limited opportunity to leave her until January.

All paintings are at half off until further notice, to earn some quick cash! I need to sell all of them, now that I won’t be using them as rewards on a Kickstarter project. Closing up my studio to paint at home for the time being is necessary, too, financially and to keep life less complicated while I go back to school.

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Church has given me a community with whom to celebrate my relationship with The Lord. Prayer sustains me during my days.

Love to all this Easter Day. I love Easter, especially this year, while I can be born into a whole new life. Resurrection happens here and now, as faith raises us up.

My daughter turns twenty-five on the 24th, so Happy Birthday, my sweet Adelaide Mary Dever! If I sell something this week, I will be there to celebrate with you.

Jane

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Where do I begin? Panic on Holy Week

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This one painting from 4.9.14 “Collaboration”, because my pal Jen (co-owner of Angelina’s with Jason) gave me the board with a rough outline shed drawn and realized was in the shape of a Madonna/Child! Fun, I thought, so I grabbed it to see what could fit. It’s kinda cool, in the end, although the black edges need a second coat… And I’ll heavily varnish it.

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I’ve been painting less this month as the job search, Church and my new exercise routine have taken precedence. I’ve been without a job long enough and without the benefit of unemployment insurance (ever!) that I am panicky and scared of homelessness for the first time. To further exacerbate the situation, my mother with whom I live (and care, more than you think or she realizes each morning) has decided that it will be more fun to live in an Assisted Living facility. I’m meeting with a school this morning, a technical school, to discuss medical tech classes to be a phlebotomist or something useful in this damned world. I’ve considered myself to be a smart girl – and have been told that I am – but not following rules along the way, like getting divorced the first time (a mistake), starting a business, not re-marrying for income, giving away more than I have (a lot), and not being desperate to “get ahead” when I believed Dad’s money would be there in the end” has bitten me badly. Trusting that the world values art enough to buy it is salt in my wound though. Art doesn’t pay bills; in fact, it has used up my savings for the last time. The film maker is on the west coast and won’t finish the movie before I am forced to find an Artist to take my studio space.

So disappointed, honestly, I have little energy — until I remember that I do have Faith. Time for God to take the helm as I hold on and do my best to regroup. Coming home (to RI) and really looking at my past — getting a sense of why I’ve been in a daze most of my life and really getting to know my parents as they’ve aged (and Dad passed) — was a help. I’ve been tortured and confused most of my life, honestly. It has taken its toll. Time to head out into scary territory, without the parents I needed desperately along the way — but with the One who never fails, my Heavenly Father.

It is Holy Week, so I’ll be at church a lot — thanking God for every day and his love. I feel sad about my situation — but God gives me strength. I’ll need it. The Passion of Christ gives me life, a reason to keep going. My focus will be to make God God from this day forward. The Art is part of that but God is first.

A dream for next Spring: I have an idea to walk El Camino de Santiago or “the way of St. James” next Spring. It has inspired me to walk 21 miles this past week. Will run and heavily train this year, part of the time with a running group that I’ve found myself a part (by osmosis and friendship). I’ll do “The Way” alone, though. It’s not like the movie, by the way; and I’m getting sound advise from a friend who did it, as well as doing my research. It gives me a goal, a dream. And it would be a great way to improve my Spanish! I’d like to paint my way across (maybe miniatures), too.

I’m trying to get to NC again, in time for my daughters birthday next week. Not possible, I’m afraid. In light of Holy Week, it is okay, though. It’s all okay.

A Ruby Red Day – from 4.4.14

Jane Ann Dever:

Revised…

Originally posted on altalunastudio.com:

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Above: “Ruby Red Day”, Acrylic on Arches oil paper, $300

Saturday, April 6th: Gallery sitting today, I have time to reflect and share. Starting each day walking in only slightly chilled air, seeing the breathtaking beauty of my hometown with the visual delights of the shoreline and nature, and (even) glimpses of the homes of my youth along the way, I am starting to feel roused from winter doldrums.

Aside from a brief panic attack over financial worries and the still unfinished Kickstart movie, I worked hard this week and feel a sense of accomplishment. The acceptance of 3 pieces into Bristol Art Museum’s upcoming juried show, “a Call to RI Artists” has also given me a needed lift.

The possibility of a globally publicized project looms in question, with the movie to pitch it in the hands of a too busy filmmaker, like a mirage of sorts! Holding on…

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